Polyvagal Theory Explained: How to Support Your Nervous System To manage Stress
Have you ever noticed how your body reacts to stress before your mind even catches up? Maybe your heart races when you get an unexpected email, or you freeze up in a difficult conversation. As a midlife woman juggling career, family, and personal responsibilities, stress can feel like a constant companion. But what if you could work with your nervous system instead of feeling trapped by it?
Enter Polyvagal Theory, a groundbreaking concept developed by Dr. Stephen Porges that explains how our nervous system influences our emotions, behaviors, and sense of safety. In this post, we’ll break it down in simple terms and show you how to gently support your nervous system for more calm and resilience in your daily life.
What Is Polyvagal Theory?
At its core, Polyvagal Theory explains how our autonomic nervous system (ANS) shifts between different states based on our sense of safety or threat. Instead of just “fight or flight,” it identifies three main states:
1. The Ventral Vagal State (Safety & Connection)
When you feel safe and at ease, your ventral vagal system is active.
You feel calm, engaged, open to social connection, and able to think clearly.
Your body is in a state of regulation, where digestion, immune function, and overall well-being thrive.
2. The Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight)
When your brain perceives a threat (real or imagined), your sympathetic nervous system kicks in.
Your heart rate increases, muscles tense, and you feel anxious, restless, or on edge.
This state is useful for short bursts of energy but can lead to chronic stress and burnout if constantly activated.
3. The Dorsal Vagal State (Shutdown & Freeze)
If your nervous system senses a threat that feels overwhelming or inescapable, it triggers the dorsal vagal response.
You might feel exhausted, disconnected, numb, or stuck in a fog.
This is your body’s way of conserving energy when escape doesn’t seem possible.
Why This Matters for Midlife Women & Burnout
If you’re frequently stuck in fight-or-flight (anxious, overthinking, hyper-aware) or shutdown (exhausted, unmotivated, disconnected), your nervous system may be dysregulated. This is especially common for midlife women balancing work, family, and personal growth—while often putting their own needs last. The good news? You can train your body to shift into ventral vagal safety more often with simple, somatic-based techniques.
How to Support Your Nervous System to Manage StreSS
1. Activate Your Ventral Vagal System
Since the ventral vagal state is where you feel calm and connected, the goal is to gently guide your nervous system back there when stress takes over. Try:
Slow, deep breathing – Inhale through your nose, exhale longer than you inhale.
Social engagement – A meaningful conversation, warm eye contact, or even humming.
Touch & grounding – Pressing your feet into the ground, holding a warm drink, or placing a hand over your heart.
2. Regulate Fight-or-Flight Energy
If you’re feeling wired, anxious, or restless:
Shake it out – Literally shake your body for 30 seconds to discharge excess energy.
Go for a walk – Rhythmic movement helps reset your nervous system.
Cold water on your face – This triggers the vagus nerve and signals safety.
3. Gently Move Out of Shutdown
If you feel heavy, exhausted, or stuck:
Small, gentle movement – Rocking, stretching, or swaying can help.
Engage with warmth – Cozy blankets, herbal tea, or sunlight.
Tiny steps of connection – A text to a friend, soft music, or a familiar scent.
Final Thoughts
Understanding Polyvagal Theory isn’t just about science—it’s about reclaiming a sense of calm and connection in your daily life. As a midlife woman, your nervous system has been shaped by years of stress, expectations, and responsibilities. But by recognizing its signals and responding with simple, body-based techniques, you can cultivate more resilience and ease.
Want more support in regulating your nervous system? Sign up for my free mini-course, Somatic Techniques for Everyday Stress, and learn practical tools to shift out of stress and into calm.
